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MI5 issue cease order for PM

MI5 – the nation’s security body – has apparently issued a cease order for the Prime Minister due to his erratic communications with non-essential staff from government offices.

It’s believed that Sir Keir Starmer MP (Holborn and St Pancras/Labour) has been obsessively “texting” and has been found to have communicated with people in other ways that don’t fit in his official capacity.